The unarmed battle

2020 was an interesting year. Turns out plagues and pandemics are not as fun as they look in history books. Its even less fun when u work in the medical field and are immunocomprimised. So yea, on our last episode of my life is a shit show I had just gotten news my lupus was active again. Here we are 7 months later and its still active and after raising my immunosuppresents 4 times its still raging like a forest fire. Still living like the virtual girl in a bubble most of the time. But hermit life isnt so bad. More time for gaming.  Thank God for Animal Crossing. That game saved my sanity in 2020.  But for me the pandemic and working the front lines put a lot of things on perspective for me.  One thing was that I really needed to focus on my dreams and start making them a reality.  Go back to school (again) to finally get where I wanna be professionally, start my own jewelry bussiness and eventually own my own food truck.  I spent decades ignoring my dreams and just treading water in survival mode. Not a fun place to be. Its hard to achieve your dreams when you are trying not to die. Unfortunately in the world of chronic illness there is no Survival Guide on how to thrive in your career, try to keep your disease on track, attempt to have a social life, personal life, family time whatever while trying to keep your stress level low at the same time. Its exhausting. I dont know about u but I am absolutely horrible at self care. I had to learn to force myself to rest and pamper myself sometimes. Facemasks are my favorite way to pamper myself. What are your ways of pampering yourself? My problem is half the time I think I can do it all. I still have that healthy person mentality, even after 23 years. Not that I forget I'm sick. Lupus never lets you forget but i push myself till I absolutely crash. Half the time these days I ask myself am I insane?!!  still working a 40 hour a week job attempting to have some semblance of a social life since I have been a Hermit for a year recently, trying to get everything lined up so I can go back to school. To obtain a career that will be easier for me when my health Bites the Dust. I am not foolish enough to think that I can keep going at the pace I'm going at. It's kind of like when you see a car crash coming, and all you can do is brace for the impact that's pretty much where I am now. The lupus is Raging.it is a daily battle to get enough sleep, get through 8 hours of work and try to clean my place and cook myself something healthy.  I need some lupus life hacks LOL.  If you got any please send them my way. I always feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything I need to get done. So for now just keep swimming as always!! I am going to try to be a better blogger and not make it a whole year before I write again.