Welcome to 1942

Welcome to 1942! Oh wait, this isn't 1942, its 2022. But somehow we have gone back in time and woken up in a nightmare, or at least its a nightmare if you are a woman. In case you're wondering where this blog stands its on the side of women being able to make decisions about their own body. Spare me the political argument of well its better that its left up to the states. Really ? Its better that I have to travel hundreds of miles away from my home just to get  medical care? Yea get outta here with that nonsense.

I never thought trying to get basic medical care would turn into an all out war but here we are. Pick your side and draw the line cuz this isn't one of those things you can just sit and watch happen. I recently tried to refill my hormone medication that i have been on for over a decade because I have low hormones because of under developed ovaries stemming from doing chemotherapy for 7 years starting at the age of 16. After a decade of never needing a prior authorization on my hormone meds all of a sudden as of 3 days ago my insurance starts throwing red flags about approving it. All of a sudden they want to know why. After 10 years and never needing a prior authorization and conveniently 2 days after Roe vs Wade was overturned here we are. I should also mention I work in healthcare and have a background in medical billing so i know how this game is played. 

If suddenly millions of men were forced into getting vasectomies and told they couldnt get access to their favorite little blue pills they would try to burn the country to the ground and try to overthrow the government. Oh wait that already happened. Except they were whining about masks and screaming my body my choice about a shot. Now that its women they think we are over reacting.  We are not. I assure you. I literally just want a say in what I can do with my body. For me having a child could kill me. Ive been told since the day I got diagnosed to avoid getting pregnant because it could kill me. But as of 3 days ago my life is no longer relevant and it doesnt matter if I die as long as we save the precious clump of cells that hasn't formed yet.  Lets not worry if the kid will come out a raging physical mess and trauma later in life dripping in guilt because their mother died in child birth. But all that matters is if we save them right? 

This decision is going to kill lots of women Because here we are back in 1942. Where you have no rights and do as you're told. Well guess what? I've never been a well behaved woman and I don't plan to start now. I literally just wanted a peaceful life. But I have come to learn I am born to lead, I am born to teach and I am here to be a warrior.  Some of the best women in history were not well behaved women and they changed the world. You set a good example ladies. We are here and we are not silent. 

Have you ever looked up a condition from the 18th and 19th century called Female Hysteria? It was an alleged mental health condition that explained away any behaviors or symptoms that made men uncomfortable. Imagine that that this mysterious "illness" was discovered by a man. It was a condition that rarely affected men. Go look up the treatment for it and tell me that men haven't been trying to find ways to shut women up for centuries. Women have been fighting for their rights since the beginning of time. We thought the war was over but its just beginning. Strap on your armor ladies. We have to go to war. 

 

Congratulations, you have Lupus. Now what?

So you have Lupus now what other than strap yourself in to the wild ride you're about to go on unfortunately there isn't much in the way of a how-to guide however after 25 years of living with it I guess that somehow makes me an expert I think the first thing you need is some grit and determination because without those things first you won't make it in life you have to be tougher than the thing that is trying to kill you. Remember to take time to mourn your old life and your old self. There are going to be many days where you feel like people just don't get it and to be honest with you, they don't.  When I first got diagnosed there were zero support groups and I knew no one with lupus. Find your tribe, find people that just get it. It helps more than you know.  trust me,  lupus was the one word none of us ever wanted to hear in life.   Back when I got diagnosed it was pretty much a death sentence I turned 40 this  year and I will be completely honest with you I didn't have any plans because I didn't plan to live this long when I first got diagnosed.  I was told get my Affairs in order because chances are I wasn't even going to make it to 21 let alone 40. So for me it is kind of a novel idea turning the age that you weren't expected to live to. I found a way to celebrate not just my birthday but the day I wasn't supposed to make it to. The one thing you want as a kid or even as an adult is to be around people that are like you.  Growing up at 16 with lupus I knew no one like me. At that time it would be a number of years before I would meet the people who would become my me too group. The people that just got it. When something like Lupus is dumped in your lap you dont even know who you are anymore,let alone who your tribe is. You get there though. I didn't have any plans for 40 other than death. But this has definitely been the year of learning to live, survive and be happy. I brought a house near the beach. Granted I've spent the past month unpacking but it feels like home in every sense of the word. Im happy and at peace for the first time ever and for the first time in my life I'm making plans to live instead of making plans to die. And it feels good to be on the other side.